A Moment of Peace…

The work is done…

The house is clean…

The dogs are tired…

The cat is napping…

The time is slowing…

The night is approaching…

The stress is decreasing…

The breath is slowing…

The world is quieter…

The time to stop and enjoy a moment of peace is now

 

Listening to O.K. (you are not alone) by Cee Cee Michaela

 

Published in: on 06/01/2011 at 04:01  Leave a Comment  
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Thoughts of a Marine Girlfriend.

It’s the constant unknown,

When will he come home next,

Will I get to see him before he leaves,

When will I get to hold him and hug him and kiss him again.

 

What if something happens,

How can I be strong,

How can I not be strong,

Does he know how much I really love him.

 

I cry when it hurts,

And it hurts most of the time,

Except when we are together,

Those are the best times of my life.

 

When will he be safely home,

I wish I knew the unknowns,

I know he is my future,

I could never give this up.

Published in: on 14/10/2010 at 04:41  Leave a Comment  
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Speechless

Tonight I am struck speechless.  All the good things that have changed in my life in this recent small amount of time now seem inconsequential to the horrible news that I received tonight.  My heart is breaking because this shouldn’t happen and it seems so unfair.  Such a young life is going to be taken and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.  I know that it happens multiple times a day but this is probably the second time in my life that it is being brought to my attention.

A girl that was in my nursing class was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years ago.  She made it through the crazy surgery and even crazier chemo.  She went back to school and graduated with her Bachelors of Science in Nursing.  She has just been informed that the tumor is back and growing more aggressive than before, so much so that it is not responding to treatment.  They have informed her, she has about 3 weeks to live.

She is only 23 years old, it seems so unfair, and she is still so young.  The wonderful and sad thing about this all is that she is so strong in her faith, she has accepted this and is not asking for goodbyes but instead wants I’ll see you’s .  She has honestly touched my life with her strength to fight and her unbending faith.   I can only hope that when the time comes for me, I have the same faith that she does.

Meghan,

I will never forget you and I will definitely be seeing you. There is always hope and I will be praying for you.

Ellie

Someone Please Explain

I was in my senior year of high school when I decided that I wanted to be a nurse.  I had been talking to my friend’s mom (who is a nurse) and my parents and we all finally agreed that Nursing was the best career for me.  Once I decided that I was going to be a nurse I threw myself into becoming a nurse; sure I hit bumps in the road but I never gave up.  I was too stubborn to quit. Along the way there was much talk about the nursing shortage and everyone I talked to told me that I would have no problems finding a job.  As I went through school I fell in love with the Spanish language so after talking with a professor; I decided to minor in Spanish and eventually work towards getting my translation license.  After that decision everyone told me my ticket was written.  Any hospital would be lucky to have me.

Now 2 months after graduation I have no job prospects, I am back living with my parents because my lease was up and I didn’t know where I was going to get a job so I didn’t want to sign another 12 month lease that I might have the break.  I have filled out 100 applications and plan of filling 100 more.  This isn’t so much about the work I have to do to get a job; I’m willing to do the work.  What makes me so mad is that no one will even give me a chance.

Yes there are jobs for nurses out there, but the majority of them require (not prefer) 1 year of experience.

Now what really steams me is finding out about Representative Wexler’s Bill which would bring 20,000 foreign nurses over to the US for 3 years to help with the nursing shortage.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  The problem is not the nursing shortage it’s self it is the hospitals that don’t want to hire new nurses.  What is the point of pushing people towards a career in nursing if the hospitals won’t hire you?  If I am in the hospital as a patient no offense but I don’t want a nurse, who is the key to my recovery, so heavily accented that I can’t understand what she is trying to tell me.  Not only that but I came across a forum for new nurses in my search for jobs and there were several nurses licensed and everything that have been searching for jobs for over 6 months.  We don’t need foreign nurses we need the hospitals to get incentives for hiring new graduate nurses.

I am a newly trained nurse, who happens to speak Spanish fairly well, I am a quick learner and I love what I do.  I just need someone to take a chance on me and give me a job.  I would think that a hospital would want to hire new nurses because we are trained on the newest techniques and skills; we are not jaded by other hospital’s policies and procedures.  If you hire us we won’t take short cuts and we will do it right the first time because that’s the only way we know how to do it.  We will work harder for you because we are eager and excited about being a nurse!  Who would not what a nurse like that? Someone please explain this to me!!!!

New Bill that would allow 20,000 foreign nurses annually to enter the US

http://www.mynursingdegree.com/career-news/2009/08/new-bill-that-would-allow-20000-foreign.asp

I date a United States Marine!

Ok so.  I date a United States Marine!  I love him with all of my heart.  We have been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half now.  The other day I ran into an old friend and she wanted to know if I was dating anyone and so I told her about my boyfriend.  Her response was “oh my god why would you put yourself through that.”  It got me a little steamed up because I hear that or similar responses (for example, “well you must not really like your boyfriend if you don’t mind spending all that time apart”, “I could never be in a long distance relationship, do you think that he cheats on you?”)

First of all, I am in a long distance relationship because I love the man that I am with.  When people say I can imagine what it must be like, I’m sorry to say but no you can’t.  If you can imagine your heart not in your body but all the way across the country and you aren’t complete until you are near it, then you can understand a fraction of what it is like to in a long distance relationship.  Him being in the military only makes the relationship that much harder.  He can’t come and see you whenever he wants and he doesn’t get to decide where he is going to live. He has to ask for permission to come see you and it has to be approved (which they usually wait until the day before to approve) and he has to go where ever they tell him to.

Second of all, I love that man and while being apart from him kills me, the times that I do get to spend with him are some of the best times of my life.  I would give up the 2 months we have to be apart, if it meant that I got to spend 10 mins in his arms.  And it kills me when I hear someone compare the week that they had to spend apart from their boyfriend or husband as a way to try to relate to me.  I guarantee it is nowhere near the same thing.  Try spending 2 months, 4 months, 8 months, a year without getting to see the person you love.  In fact our love is stronger than most because we don’t see each other daily, we have to make the time to talk and share and be with each other.  We text, we call, we write, we Skype; we probably spend twice as much time making our relationship work than other couples.

Third of all, I have all the faith in my man and I never have to question his faithfulness to me.  So don’t ask, because if you are asking you’re probably doing so to purposely cause me stress.  And I have enough in my life right now!  Thank you!  I am and he is Semper Fidelis  – Always Faithful.

I love my Man!!  And I am proud that he is a Marine. It makes our relationship a little bit more difficult but in the end, the moments we do get to share are more precious.

Mac and Cheese …

Sometimes it surprises me the things that I remember my mom teaching me. Tonight I could decide what to make for dinner. I didn’t have much but some chicken breast, noodles, cheese and peas. So I cooked up the chicken breast and peas. Then I started cooking the pasta, but I didn’t want just plan pasta. Then it hit me. I remember the time my mom taught me how to make a simple cheese sauce for macaroni and cheese.

Just a pat or two of butter in a sauce pan, wait till it melts then add some flour. Mix it together till it makes a paste like consistency. Add some milk and stir till is starts to thicken. When it begins to thicken add cheese and stir till it melts. Drain the pasta and pour the sauce over the pasta.

That was the first actual cooking I think I ever did. I mean I made box cakes and box dinners, but I had never made anything from scratch. I felt like I had accomplished something. I think the coolest part was my mom taught me to do it without measuring anything out. I felt like a real cook, you know the ones that throw a pinch in of this and a dash in of that.

So tonight I tried to make the sauce and it work!! I made a simple but great cheese sauce. It was very yummy. Whenever I make this cheese sauce it brings me back to being in my mom’s kitchen and learning to make it the first time.  My mom is a great teacher and when you give her the chance she’ll teach you all that she knows!!  One day I hope to be able to pass on my knowledge.

Published in: on 27/04/2010 at 03:55  Leave a Comment  
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My last day in the hospital…

“Alright, I guess you’re done for the day, well actually for the rest of your college career.” I grab my coat off the back of the door, swing it over my shoulders and slid my arms through the sleeves.  I start my walk to the elevators.  As I’m walking a realization hits me, I will never return to this hospital as a student nurse, I will never again have to wear blue and gold strips on my sleeves, and the next time I walk into a hospital it will be for an interview (hopefully).  I don’t walk at the usual quick pace that I am accustomed to; I want to take it all in.  I hear the banter and laughter of the nursing assistances at the nurse’s station, I can hear the beeping of an IV pump indicating the fluids are almost out, I can hear the unmistakable sound of a call light going off; all of these things that I won’t hear again until I have a job.   Once I get to the elevators I hit the down button and wait for the ding of an arriving elevator.  I spin around slowly and whisper a soft goodbye to the floor where I learned to venture out on my own; I transitioned from being a nursing student to a nurse.  I learned when to call for Rapid Response, when to question what a doctor orders, how to handle lots of needy patients and how to be the nurse I want to be.  There is no one around during all this contemplation and when the elevator arrives there is no one in there either. The hospital seems oddly at peace, but I’m sure that some where commotion is going on.  I hit the 1st floor button and ride to the bottom, picking no one up along the way.  I walk again slowly through the atrium, remembering all the times that I have walked through here heading to a new and exciting floor.  I particularly remember my first ride to the 6th floor on my very first day of clinicals in the hospital.  Thankfully I met up with a few of my fellow class mate in the parking lot and we all walked nervously into the hospital, when we passed through the atrium we were all so nervous and excited.  We had no idea what to expect.  If I could I would love to relive it all over again, or at least watch it and see how much I’ve grown over the last 4 years.  I pass by the hostess stand where so many times I had to stop and ask for directions.  I turn right and head straight winding through the halls that I have walked through so many times before. It seems bitter sweet, but perfect too because I am experiencing my last moments in the hospital by myself, knowing that in this hospital I learned how to be independent.  I turn left out to the Spring Street Exit and the hostess sitting at the door says “Goodbye, Have a great day!”  I turn and smile back, because I know I will.  I am celebrating 4 years in the making I’m going to be a Registered Nurse, Woo Hoo!!!!!

Published in: on 22/04/2010 at 01:57  Leave a Comment  
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I think I miss placed my Crystal Ball…

Things to do:

– Finish Papers and Projects

– Take Tests

– Find my Crystal Ball

– Pass Exit Exam

– Pass Finals

– Finish and Pass anything else the professors can throw at me

– Graduate

– Celebrate

– Study for the NCLEX

– Learn to use my crystal ball and see that everything will work out fine

– Take and Pass the NCLEX

– Get a job

– Find a House

– Move

– Have everything work out just fine!!

(- Somewhere in there, Grow up and become an adult that can make decisions)

Ok so I am getting into my last 2 months of college ever (well for a while anyway) and I am getting a little over whelmed. See I had this trip to Spain that I was doing over spring break and I thought that when I got back everything would be smooth sailing. Well, I was wrong! I have about 6 weeks to get everything done for graduation, then there’s all the stuff that got to happen after I graduate.

I just wonder how people transition from college life to grown up life without the stress. I’m making big changes in my life after I graduate like moving away from my friends and family to be closer to my boyfriend. This is really scary for me, however my boyfriend thinks it will be just fine. He is calm and cool about the whole thing, how I don’t know. I wish I could be cool and calm about it, but I need a plan.

I need a crystal ball so that I know the decisions I’m about to make will work out for the best, so that I can make a plan on how to get there. But I seem to have miss placed my crystal ball and I don’t think I will be able to find it anytime soon (maybe I’ll find it in the move, but that’s too late.) How do people do it? How do you make a decision and know that it’s the right one? Anyone have any advice????? HELP PLEASE!!!!!

Published in: on 11/03/2010 at 00:42  Comments (2)  
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Listen to the Music!!

Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of a song or the notes in a symphony? Can hear the message and the passion that the writer is trying to put out there? I love to listen to all kinds of music from Chopin to Taylor Swift! Music can bring you up when you’re down or just accompany the mood that you are currently in and not ready to get out of. Music can help you get over your break up or bring together even the most unlikely group of people. When you’ve had a rough day you can crank up the music and dance around without a care of judgment from anyone. There are some songs that come out and you just think that about sums up you life at that moment in those 3 mins. About a year ago one of those songs came out for me. It is sung by a young artist but I don’t care and I show no shame when I talk about it, because the first time that I heard it and listened to the lyrics I cried because I felt like someone actually saw my life. I just want to share those lyrics with you because I am sure that everyone can relate to this song I highly recommend looking it up and giving it a listen.

The Climb lyrics Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J

I can almost see it That dream I am dreaming But there’s a voice inside my head saying “You’ll never reach it” Every step I’m taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be a uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb The struggles I’m facing The chances I’m taking Sometimes might knock me down But no, I’m not breaking I may not know it But these are the moments that I’m gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep going And I, I got to be strong Just keep pushing on ‘Cause there’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be a uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb, yeah! There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Somebody’s gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb, yeah! Keep on moving, keep climbing Keep the faith, baby It’s all about, it’s all about the climb Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Idiots Guide to Proposals!

Ok so this weekend I was out with my boyfriend’s friends and one of them is about to ask his girlfriend to marry him.  He was planning on asking at Christmas time in front of a lot of people, but apparently his girl friend happened to mention how cheesy that was.  Now he has no idea what to do and he asked me what I thought.  I am sure that there are a lot of guys out there that are about to ask there wonderful girlfriends to marry them and don’t know how to do it.  I hope that this will help you out.

Christmas and New Years are probably the cheesy way to ask a girl to marry you.  It’s uninventive, typical and not very romantic.  This is the person that we are hopefully going to spend the rest of our lives with.  The proposal will tell us how much effort you are planning on putting into the future relationship.  I’m not saying that it has to be large and extravagant, but it definitely should be memorable.  If you can remember a particularly romantic moment in your relationship and recreate it says that you remember the important things by remembering the little things too.  It says that you are creative and romantic and will be throughout the rest of your lives.

I like most girls are only planning on getting married ones and I know that I want to remember this one proposal for a lifetime.  I remember the weekend that my boyfriend first told me he loved me.  We were at the beach for the weekend, in the exact same room that we had the first time we came to the beach and we were standing out on the balcony when he told me he loved me.  Recreating that would be a memorable scene.  That same weekend one of those mornings we were out on the balcony and at the next hotel over someone had gotten up early and written Shelly will you marry me in the sand below I’m sure their room.  I would find that very romantic

Creating a memorable proposal doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.  Pick a favorite place that you both like to visit, recreate your very first date, or take her on a walk down memory lane.  If Christmas is a favorite moment in your relationship then yes it is acceptable to propose at Christmas.  It doesn’t have to be a long speech but it shouldn’t be too short either.  I want to know why you want to marry me.  I may already know that I want to do it, but I still want to know why you want to too.

Don’t by any means be offended by my blog about proposing, I am not engaged nor married currently, I am not a professional or an expert on proposals.  However, I am a girl that like many other girls thinks about the way that she would like to be proposed to.  You don’t have to take any of what I say to heart if you don’t want to.  It takes a lot of courage to ask someone to marry you and I respect that.  I know that like most things if there is something that I can’t get an idea for I search for it on the internet and maybe this will help a few guys get one girls perspective on proposals.